The Best Bits of Eurovision 2014

Circular pianos, hamster wheels and a drag queen – why? Because it’s Eurovision. Last night’s contest was definitely a spectacular parade of the eccentric, the extraordinary and entertaining talent we have in Europe. From classic power ballads to creepy gimmicks, this years contest had it all. Though, if you did miss the Eurovision and want to know why your friends keep singing scoop-dooba-dop-dop di-di-dai or if you simply want to re-live the extravaganza that is Eurovision – here is our best bits guide:


Graham Norton

‘I’m 51, not dead’ he responded to the hosts comment about people who are unaware of Twitter. Most people will agree with me when I say that one of the main reasons we watch Eurovision is to hear Norton’s sassy sarcastic commentary over the contest. His catchphrase of the night ‘Why? Because it’s Eurovision.’ Though, this year he didn’t get away with mocking the hosts as he normally does because two of this years hosts, Koppel and Asbæk, decided to prank Norton after he repeatedly commented on how bad their jokes were. So, after all the acts had performed the hosts announced they would like to thank the national commentators and closed in on Graham in his viewing box. While Norton was completely gobsmacked a camera man snuck into the room and set off a confetti cannon, leaving his desk and equipment covered in glittery confetti.


Catchy Songs

If you exclude Poland, because lets face it that song was just creepy – there was a three-way tie for catchiest song. First off was France’s Moustache by Twin Twin, which was about a man who had everything but a moustache, something I’m sure we can all empathize with. This song came last with only 2 points, proving the theory that a good Eurovision song has to be something people can universally relate to and growig a moustache just isn’t one of them. Second was Denmark’s answer to Bruno Mars, Basim, with his Cliche Love Song. This entry came 9th and included the line ‘Scoop-dooba-dop-dop di-di-dai’ which most people seem to be quoting on Facebook, including our new Newspaper Editor Emma Shelton. Third was Switzerland’s Hunter of Stars performed by Sebalter which came 13th. This song was all about the whistling and had a very Hunger Games meets Train feel to it that was quirky but really nice.

Performance of Hunter of Stars by Sebalter


Top 5 Gimmicks

1. Ukraine’s Hamster Wheel

Yes, Mariya, had her man in a hamster wheel. It was meant to be a bit Cirque Du Soleil, which at times it was, but when he just continually ran on it the gimmick seem to lose its charm.

Mariya Yaremchuk performing Tick Tock

2. Russia’s Hair-tied Twins

During the start of Russia’s number the Tolmachevy Sisters had their pony tails tied together, which was a bit odd and slightly worrying when they moved away from each other.

Tolmachevy Sisters performing Shine

3. Romania’s Circular Piano

The piano,itself, was very sci-fi but the use of it was just strange. Every so often OVI would play it and then return to the centre of the stage to sing but throughout the song you could still hear the piano, even when he wasn’t playing it.

Paula Seling & OVI performing Miracle

4. Iceland’s Rainbow of Suits

Many have described Iceland’s costume choice as Tele Tubby chic including our own Graham Norton however it definitely made the performance more fun and energetic.

Pollaponk performing No Prejudice

5. Poland’s Titalising Display

Do we really want to see big breasted women doing their laundry on stage? Poland’s staging was very random. The singers performed in the centre of the stage and then were joined by two women, exposing a lot of cleavage, who began washing clothes. The whole gimmick seemed pointless and unnecessary, especially for a family show. I think many Polish women will be upset about the stereotyping in the song as well as other women around the world.

We Are Slavic performed by Donatan & Cleo and My Slowianie


Molly represents the UK

This year we were represented by Molly Smitten-Downes, who performed her song Children of the Universe. Overall, we came 17th with 40 points. Some UK viewers were disappointed but it’s the best the UK has done since Blue took the stage in 2011. Some of the countries that scored lower than us included: Germany, Italy, France and Greece.

Molly Smitten-Downes


And, the winner is…

Austria’s Conchita Wurst with Rise like a Phoenix

Conchita Wurst performing Rise like a Phoenix

With a grand total of 290 points, Tom Neuwirth won over many nations with his sassy drag queen alter ego, Conchita Wurst. Congratulations Conchita!



2 Responses to “The Best Bits of Eurovision 2014”

  1. Dave

    May 11. 2014

    The winners name is “Conchita Sausage” – what a translation

    Reply to this comment


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