Confessions of the Socially Inept

As a socially inept person Henry Sandercock possess a particular set of skills; namely embarrassing himself in a spectacular fashion. Here’s a collection of toe-curlingly awkward Henry moments…

The Moped Accident

As a 13 year-old I possessed the need, the need for SPEED. This need was satisfied, in part, by a two-stroke Honda moped which I used to scoot around my Grandad’s farm. One fateful New Year’s Day, I got my whole family out to watch me break the 20mph barrier. The tension was high. I revved the engine and shot off at a break-neck pace. Seconds later, I had a grazed knee and a bruised ego as I crashed at just 10mph.

The Wrong Chinese

I was expected to meet some friends at a Chinese restaurant in my home town and due to a mix-up in communication I arrived at the wrong one. But no, I couldn’t be wrong. I Google-mapsed it and all. NO, THIS WAS THE PLACE. I stormed back in, barged through the restaurant into the private dining room at the back whilst being hotly pursued by an army of waiters. They weren’t there. Humble pie was eaten.

A Bus Stop Too Far

I was highly stressed about a presentation in second year. I. Was. On. The. Edge. I got on the 4pm bus and got up to campus. My seminar was in Grimond, so when my housemate got off at Keynes and asked if I was getting off too, I replied to the negative, little realising that I would soon be heading to Whitstable. As the bus began to head back down the hill, I began to frantically press the stop button. I got out and ran like Bullseye, got into my seminar sweating and completely out of breath and still got a first (probably out of sympathy).

The Mistaken Hat

I was at Ruby Tuesdays with my girlfriend. She was wearing a hat and mid-way through the night it disappeared. When we were about to leave I walked around looking for it and spied it atop the head of another girl. I snatched it off her and gave her a look. Her friends then proceeded to encircle me like a hungry pride of lions. As I turned around, I came face-to-face with my girlfriend wearing her hat. An awkward apology followed.

The Tragic Drunk

I save the best (worst) story until last. After an away rugby match, I got horrendously plastered on the team bus. I had managed to make my way home and was duly put to bed by my flatmates. However, my drunken mind got me out of bed and demanded some mashed potato. My stunned flatmates watched on as I cooked said mashed potato and then proceeded to throw it at my face (mostly missing and instead, plastering the ceiling). I then got the entire flat-block up as I sang, danced, and then passed out in front of everyone in my boxers. Classy.