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Top Ten Lies Students Tell

Student life really is like no other. It’s the independence and freedom you’ve been craving for 18 years. There’s so much to do and see and try out. But sometimes, is it maybe too much freedom? As students, we get a little bit excited by our new found independence and are more likely to be found sleeping in, lazing about and doing what your parents always told you not to do. Here are a few white lies you might recognise…

1) I will attend my 9am lecture every week.

We may have the best intentions to attend every one of those lectures, but 9am just isn’t a realistic time for a student. You’ll promise yourself you’ll go next week, but then that snooze button keeps calling.

2) So, what did you have for tea today? Vegetables, fruit and more vegetables…

Mum, when you call and I say I’ve had vegetable soup for tea, I haven’t. There may be some veg lurking in the cupboard but it’ll probably go out of date before I get round to making that roast dinner. Besides, beans on toast, cheese on toast and basically anything-else-you-can-find on toast are just too tempting.

3) I will stop procrastinating.

Why is it that we’re suddenly eager to do the washing up, clean our rooms and take the bins out as soon as the word ‘work’ is mentioned. You’re probably reading this article to procrastinate right now. Well done, we students are masters of procrastination.

4) Seeing as you’ve all done the reading this week…

You say you’ll do it but that doesn’t always seem to happen. Then it just gets awkward when no one has done the reading and no one understands what’s going on. Then your seminar leader suggests, ‘If you’d like to do some extra reading on the topic…’ It’s usually met by enthusiastic nods of approval and murmurs of ‘Of course I would!’ but followed up with a sideways glance to your friend and a whisper of ‘Not happening.’

5) I feel ill today Mum. Aw, you must be overworking yourself! Or I’m hungover?

Every night seems to be student night especially if you’re a fresher so the hangovers tend to be a common occurrence, but that’s not something you’ll probably openly admit to your parents. We’ll all happily take the sympathy, even if we feel a little bit guilty.

6) I will stay in, work and drink less this week. Promise.

We might like to think we are strong willed and sure of ourselves but the minute you hear that someone else is ‘having a night off’ and just going out for ‘one drink’ all hell breaks loose. Peer pressure is our biggest enemy!

7) I will stick to my budget.

Student discounts are just too enticing, alcohol is expensive and going out is just too tempting. It happens every week. Budget = Gone.

8) I will not leave my assignment until the last minute

Ever been to the library on the last day of term and noticed a sea of confused, stressed and befuddled faces? It’s amazing how quickly that deadline springs up on you even though you promise yourself you’ll be prepared this time. Pulling an ‘all-nighter’ is getting a little bit too familiar.

9) Have you voted in the elections yet? Yes, of course…

I’m sure most people have voted in the elections but let’s be honest; we have been bombarded by the endless leaflets, the door to door campaigns and the emails for a long time now. Apologies to the candidates, but sometimes it’s just easier to say you’ve already voted.

10) I will not lie to myself anymore!

A new term looms and the same problems threaten to return. We will promise to work harder, get up earlier and be healthier but in reality? It. Just. Won’t. Happen.

Sound familiar to anyone?

If it doesn’t then, then you may be lying to yourself… again. Face facts, 9am doesn’t exist at university and hangover days will happen, a lot.

Sorry Mum, sorry Dad, but if I say I’ve been up since 9am working in the library, cooking beef stroganoff from scratch and doing my reading for next week’s seminar, it’s likely to be a slight fabrication of the truth. In other words I’m in bed watching the entire two seasons of Game of Thrones, in a onesie with a mug of tea and a packet of bourbons… just to avoid my impending deadlines.

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