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By Charlie Baylis … on 13.7.2023

Zoo8: Our thoughts on the ‘Shambles’

Last weekend George Berry and I had a rather surreal experience, we attended Zoo8 festival, which for those that don’t know is a music festival, with a few other things throw in, like animals, and segway racers. Expect that they didn’t actually throw them in, and, many of the acts cancelled. All of which prompted fury from festival goers and also secured the festival a great deal of negative press, which can be divulged using the following codes: and

In order to give an insight to the true nature of the festival, I have decided to interview my college George over his experiences at Zoo8, so here is what happened, in his own words. As a prefix I’d just like to say that despite its chaotic nature, I enjoyed much of Zoo8, although I suppose not really the things I was meant to enjoy.

Q: What were your thoughts on the strength of the line up?

Initially, I thought the line up had some good bands, but it was far from amazing, the appeal lay in the festival’s locality. The strengths, I thought, lay mostly with the cult bands such as ‘MSTRKRFT’ and ‘Late of the Pier’, rather than huge names.

Q: What were your thoughts on the strength of the line up, after a large number of bands cancelled?

The line up took a heavy blow with the cancellations, not that I was actually that bothered about Dizzee, but with that Tap ‘n Tin tent condemned, I missed ‘Late of the Pier’.

Q: How well was the event organized?

Less said the better really, it was a damn nightmare. The weather couldn’t be helped, but the epic walk from the car to the events, the condemning of the second best stage and acts cancelling over issues such as pay, it just goes to show that the organizers couldn’t arrange anything.

Q: How well were members of the press treated?

Awful, but luckily, inQuire Live can’t be stopped by anything when we put our minds to it.

Q: How many interviews did the curators manage to blag for you?

None, but again, inQuire Live did what the wanted, how they wanted, mainly just to spite the poor press relations.

Q: How many performances did you watch?

‘Watched’ is such a strong word. I ‘watched’ Flogging Molly and Funeral for a Friend while standing on the main stage. I ‘saw’ other groups, but more out of coincidence than actually caring.

Q: Who were you favourite band?

Marner Brown. Didn’t hear them, but they got me an all access areas pass.

Q: How did you feel the average customer found zoo8?

Probably fairly decent, because people are idiots.

Q: What were your favourite moments of the festival?

Watching Marner Brown’s lead singer and lead guitarist fight. Brutal.

Q: Would the festival have been worth attending if Marner Brown weren’t there?


Q: How well did security do in ensuring the backstage areas were kept private?

We started as normal members and ended up on the main stage while Flogging Molly and Funeral for a Friend were playing. Enough said really.

Q: How many animals did you see?


Q: How much would you feel a fair price for a zoo8 ticket would be?

Elisha Cuthbert laid out naked covered in whipped cream.

Q: After reading this article,, do you find it to be an accurate reflection on the event?

Pretty accurate, not harsh enough though.

Q: What could the festival organisers do to ensure the festival is better next year?

Get better press relations, get tents that work, pay the acts, get better acts and finally give me a suitcase full of money for wasting my time.

Q: Will you be going next year?

Hell naw. Reading all the way.


  • Wow, I come across a proper arsehole.

    Oh well.

    By George on 13.7.2023

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