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inQuire Live will be bringing you the latest updates from the 80th Academy Awards.

Log on from 1.00 a.m. for all the L.A. glitz, drama and tears.

Right so (in my head) I’m in L.A., Hollywood to be precise, reporting on the Oscars for your pleasure, I’ve found a list of nomination for mutual pleasure, my thoughts on the red carpet watz and the awards itself will follow (once they’ve arrived).

1.08 Crickey! that’s a long list, apparently the ceremony has begun, everyone’s hero (or is he just mine?), Jon Stewart is hosting, I’ll go and take a look what the hells going on after I re post that list as a comment…

1.12 According to a guardian wit, George Clooney’s girlfriend is wearing ‘a pair of curtains’ ho hum, ho hum…

1.17 The lucky people of Oscar land have been treated to some highlights of last years show, hopefully that’ll serve as a reminder how much poorer previous years have been, in terms of nominations at least, hello Chicago for best film..

1.21 As every English person reading might fear, the Oscar’s have already become the tortuous and drawn out back slapping celebration they threaten to be, the ceremony was meant to have started, in some manners of speaking it has, however, absolutely naff all of interest has happened, I did see that Michael Moore is in attendance, but then he’s impossible to miss..

1.26 Apparently Sky are stuffing English viewers with interviews, don’t worry folks, there’s nothing actually happening yet, and that Wilkleman women will get what she deserves (a slap in the face) one day, am I the only English report out in L.A.? (in my head), where are you Guardian kids at?

1.30 Claudia Winkleman, don’t ya just hate her? I need sunglasses to match how shiny her hair is

1.32 Nicole Kidman has arrived, she was late, Joel Stien, abc’s American blogger, thinks she was seeking attention, but perhaps she just has better things to do, pop quiz, when was the last good Nicole Kidman film?

1.36 And they’re off, theoretically as of five minutes ago, however I wouldn’t want to bore you with the opening speech, a warm welcome to Bod, shout out to the rest of the grauniad crew, roll on 2 a.m!

1.39 The answer to my little Kidman quiz was seven years ago: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0230600/

1.43 “Thank God for teenage pregnancy” (Ahem – Jon Stewart)

1.45 While we await the actual awards with mild Jon Steward enthused amusement, why not check out a few red carpet snaps, courtesy of abc, http://oscar.com/redcarpet/, America’s second worst broadcasting corporation.

1.54 Best Costume Design went to sweet Angleterre’s Alexandra Byrne for Elizabeth: The Golden Age. The next award is best animated feature..

1.55 Ratatouille wins best animated feature, it has five nominations, as that’s five more than Ang Lee’s beautiful Lust, Caution, I’ve got no idea why…

1.59 Backstage Amy Adams, (who?) has just drank half a pint of apple juice, this is according to abc, half a pint?, of apple juice, scandal, I’m in a fit about this, life can never be the same for me again

2.00 La vie en rose wins something (Best Make Up – aka least important award), it’ll win a lot more too..

2.09 Radio 5 are getting scarily nationalistic, they’re ranting about how important England is for hollywood’s technical side (!), was that The golden Compass winning something? (Best Visual Effects) another great book ruined.

2.12 Sweeney Todd, http://www.inquirelive.co.uk/node/132, has won best art direction and deservedly so

2.18 Best Supporting actor is coming up soon, come on Casey Afflek!

2.21 Casey is let down, Javier Bardem of No Country for Old Men takes the first (slightly) major award.

2.25 In Joel Stein’s Blog, he’s been semi amusingly trying to steal an Oscar, http://blogs.oscar.com/, I’m very jealous of his backstage pass, I think I know all the wrong people…

2.32 For all you Guardian kids, the link you’re following was written by the author of this, http://www.inquirelive.co.uk/node/400 and the band he reviewed, Vampire Weekend, I personally can’t recommend them enough, really top notch indie pop stuff…

2.35 Le Mozart des Pickpockets by Philippe Pollet-Villard takes the Oscar for Best Live action short film, Best Animated Short Film is won by Peter & the Wolf..

2.38 The next, at least, semi important award is won by Tilda Swinton, that was best supporting actress, Cate Blanchett was robbed,

2.50 The Grauniad’s got some lovely Oscar snaps up: http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/gallery/2008/feb/25/fashion?picture=33267…

2.51 George Clooney has won best actor, what happened to DD Lewis?, and George, really?

2.53 Did I get you with that one? Of course, best actor hasn’t been decided yet, and won’t be decided for quite some time..

2.55 Joel Coen & Ethan Coen get a deserved Oscar for best adapted screenplay, that would be No Country for Old Men, in a completely unrelated thought, the Brits are doing well tonight, is that three awards so far?

3.07 The Bourne Ultimatum grabs a double, winning best sound editing and sound mixing.

3.10 Best Actress goes to Marion Cotillard for La Vie en Rose, a very Hollywood film, personally I preferred Ellen Page, I’m happy with anyone who’s not Julie Christie though,

3.23 Apparently Les Brits are up to six awards, that’ll be the good old double counting taking affect

3.35 Jason Bourne makes it a hatrick, picking up best editing.

3.38 ABC have given best editing to Marion Cotillard! check out the box on the left hand side of the page: http://oscar.com/oscarnight/winners/?pn=detail&nominee=The%20Bourne%20Ul…, hilarious..

3.45 Too late my dear geeks, ABC have corrected their website, maybe the scumbags are reading this! I highly doubt it.

3.46 Best Foreign Language film goes to The Counterfeiters, I should also mention that some old guy, Robert Boyle (Who?) has been given an honary piece of gold.

3.53 Best Song goes to, Fallen Slowly from Once, like most people that have never seen the film, I’ve never heard the song, but if its anywhere near as good as this

it deserves something…pop quiz, which year and for which film did Elliott Smith receive an Academy Award Nomination?

4.03 Best cinematography goes to There Will Be Blood

4.11 Atonement finally gets an award, that would be for original score, which if I remember correctly was some rather sparkling romantic piano, bravo!

4.15 The answer to our second little pop quiz did come up on the video, but for those who didn’t click play, the film was Good Will Hunting and the year was 1998, the same year I started secondary school, fact fans!

4.17 The best documentary short goes to Freeheld, I think we’ll have to take the academy’s word for that one

4.21 Taxi to the Dark Side wins best documentary feature…as ever the Guardian blog seems to be about five minutes behind things..

4.27 Juno beats off fierce competition to win the original screenplay Oscar, so theres just the three biggies left now, best director, actor and film.

4.32 The moment of truth, who will win best actor? Radio 5 are bigging up Daniel Day Lewis and rightly so, a victory for Ireland!

4.35 Best actor goes with form, Daniel Day Lewis deserved the award, much more so than George Clooney, who did win, but only in my head, the film was There Will Be Blood, but I’m sure you all knew that, right?

4.41 Biggest loser of the night? its got to be Kevin O’Connell, who’s been nominated about a million times, he still hasn’t got an award: http://www.oscar.com/nominees/?pn=detail&nominee=Transformers%20-%20Soun…

4.43 The Coen Brothers have just won best director(s)…and also best film, which the pompous radio 5 presenter can’t really understand why they have a different award for, however I find there is a distinct difference between direction and film, whatever, the Coen’s have done rather well for themselves.

4.49. Well that’s about it from me, thanks for logging on, I’ll post a full list of winners before I go, I was going to attend the Vanity Fair party but that got cancelled, so maybe Madonna’s or Elton John’s, or, who knows, I might just go to bed, somewhere in a rubbish old place called ‘reality’, good night folks hope to see you on inQuire Live again soon!

4.52 Here’s that list I promised:

Best film: No Country for Old Men

Best director: No Country for Old Men, Joel and Ethan Coen

Best actor: Daniel Day-Lewis, There Will Be Blood

Original screenplay: Juno

Documentary feature: Taxi to the Dark Side

Documentary short: Freeheld

Original score: Atonement

Cinematography: There Will Be Blood

Song: Falling Slowly, Once

Foreign language film: The Counterfeiters

Honorary Oscar: Robert Boyle

Film editing: The Bourne Ultimatum

Best actress: Marion Cotillard, La Vie en Rose

Sound mixing: The Bourne Ultimatum

Sound editing: The Bourne Ultimatum

Adapted screenplay: No Country for Old Men, Joel and Ethan Coen

Supporting actress: Tilda Swinton, Michael Clayton

Animated short: Peter and the Wolf

Live action short: Le Mozart des Pickpockets

Supporting actor: Javier Bardem, No Country for Old Men

Art directions: Sweeney Todd

Visual effects: The Golden Compass

Makeup: La Vie en Rose

Animated feature: Ratatouille

Costume: Elizabeth: The Golden Age

That’s it folks!